Yeah, I have a lot of unanswered questions concerning some things in life...or after. As most of you who know me are aware, I'm really interested in the paranormal. This totally freaks some people (who know me) out! Let me state some facts right off the bat to set some of your minds to ease.
#1. I believe in God.
#2. I am a born again Christian. PERIOD!
#3. I believe in Heaven and Hell. I DO NOT believe in Purgatory. I'm not wanting to debate. Just stating some facts about what I believe.
#4. I believe in Angels and Demons and that the spiritual realm is very powerful and there are somethings we should not get involved in.
Ok, those four basic things said, here we go...
Here are some of my own theories...
I don't believe that there are actual human spirits that "haunt" creepy old buildings. BUT I do believe in the "paranormal" and that there is a "tangible" spiritual realm that we can actually interact with... I believe that both angels and demons interact with humans... But there is another part of the spiritual that I just don't understand... A lot of "Why's" and "How's" and "What's" are floating in my head...
The best way my mind tries to wrap around it is that sometimes, there is a "residue" left from certain people... Say, if someone was just extremely evil and allowed demonic activity to work through them...after they die, I believe that some of that can be left behind and still be very active... ON the other hand, someone who was a truly sweet and kind soul...some of that can be left behind. I have felt this... I have actually felt both. Not so much their actual spirit, but the ... "residue" for lack of better word.
Something that recently happened with Kensey, my two year old daughter, has really had me thinking hard upon the paranormal, but I am no where closer to having an answer. Its totally opposite. I am even more lost.
Here's what happened:
When we went to visit in NY this past summer, we visited Josh's (my husband) grandpa. Grandpa lost his wife 2 years ago. Her name was Hattie, but we always refer to her as Grandma Smith. Kaiden, our five year old son, got to meet her when we was 5 months old. Kensey, our two year old daughter, never got to meet her.
While we were visiting grandpa, he gave Kensey a little stuffed elephant that belonged to Grandma Smith. She collected elephants and their house is still full of her collection. Kensey immediately fell in love with the little elephant.
Several weeks later, back at home and laying on her bed with her, Josh was asking Kensey about all of her "babies". She loves baby dolls and has a room full of them. He then asked Kensey about the little elephant. He said, "What's this one's name"? Kensey looked up and said, "Hattie". Josh was a little stunned and thought he may have misunderstood. He asked, "Mattie"? She looked at him and said, "No. Hattie"!
Kensey has never even heard grandma referred to as "Hattie". It was a little unnerving to have Kensey refer to this little elephant, that belonged to Grandma Smith as Grandma Smith's actual name.
When Josh came and told me this, I got cold chills all over my body. This rose so many more questions in my mind. How? Why? Could this really be?... It is too much of a coincidence for me. We do not know any other person by the name of Hattie. And to my knowledge, Kensey has never even heard that name before. What do I make of this?
As I grew up, I had always thought I was sensitive to feeling whatever was left behind... I have vivid memories of when I was young of having a very "bad" feeling about a place that normally would not give off a bad vibe to anyone else. Later, after sharing this with my older sister, she was shocked and then revealed something bad that she knew had happened in that place. What was I feeling? Why was I feeling it? Why did not everyone else feel it? What was IT?
Some of you are probably thinking I am a total lunatic. Some of you understand and are in the same position I am. Some of you may never even think about it at all. But this is where I am. With a lot of unanswered questions. I would love to understand more. To have enough information to express my stance on the paranormal issues. Some things may never be intended for us to ever know and forever remain a mystery. Right now, I just would like to understand somethings that have happened to me and my family.